All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
