This is not my ceiling
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My cat gives me a boner
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
