She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
