You're completely useless in the revolution.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
