1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
