Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
