I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
