Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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