She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
