So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
