is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
