508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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