I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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