just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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