no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
