So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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