apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
