Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
