Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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