I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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