You're my little dorito
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
