I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
