Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
