just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
