PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
