Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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