the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
