Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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