Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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