Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
