i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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