It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
