Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
