it was like eating out sand paper
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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