I hate all girls vehemently.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
