I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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