): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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