i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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