I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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