it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Duck Duck Cougar?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
