I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
