is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
