My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
