my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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