so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
