She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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