Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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