Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
how drunk are you?
Several
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
