Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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