we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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