I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
