Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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