Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
